MENZZOO MAGAZINE
HOW TO FIX
A COMPROMIZED AFFAIR
Introduction- Firstly NEVER confess to an affair to your Thai wife unnecessarily no matter how much presure she is putting on you to do so, if you already have, hoping that she'd forgive you, by now you probably realise that was a big mistake.
Although in south east asian culture it's quite common for men to maintain a wife or partner, as well as a mistress (Mia Noi) most women do not take kindly to this custom, they will become hot tempered and extremely jealous, even if they only sense you've been cheating, just like any other woman in the world.
There's also a good chance this is the opportunity she's been waiting for to clean you out of your worldly posessions if you've made the mistake of putting everything in her name. If she's since moved in with her sister or mother you're screwed.
The good news if she's still around that may not be the case with her and your relationship does not necessarily have to end whether she has a strong suspicion or even knows you've been cheating on her. Your relationship and posessions can survive.
So without further ado lets take a look at the steps you can take to get back the control of the relationship and move on.
1. STOP CHEATING (FOR NOW)
This is a tough one but you can't see your girlfriend for now , the chances are your wife knows exactly who the other girl is and is waiting for you to reconfirm her doubts, even more so if she spotted you at a bar with her or picked up a text message arranging a date. Keep in touch with your girlfriend by text, erase all your messages, make sure you have a security lock on your phone if you haven't already, if you have, change the code just to be on the safe side.
If your wife busted you whilst you were on a date with your girlfriend and things appeared innocent, for example she wasn't grinding your crotch with herself at the bar or you were'nt sat having a candle lit dinner together, you could say she is a girlfriend of a mutual friend of yours who she suspects is having an affair and was innocently confiding in you for your advice. Your wife will likely understand this because she's probably thought about doing the same with one of your friends.
If she picked up a recent compramizing text message you can guarantee she has read them all if you didn't erase after reading them and now knows exactly how long you've been seeing your girlfriend for. You could say she's just a facebook friend who flirts with you and that you've never actually met her, but if your messages included times and places to meet that won't wash, you're wife will have a good recolection of your comings and goings,making excuses at this point will only make matters worse. Therefore you'll need to reasure your wife the relationship was casual and nothing serious.
2. TELL HER IT WAS JUST LUST
Most women know that there's usually two reasons why people have an affair, one being a physical attraction and the other being a mental attraction and/or both, she will likely be more forgiving if she thinks your affair was just about casual sex.
3. ACCEPT RESPOSIBILITY
Don't blame your wife, even if she has turned out to be the most physically unattractive abusive woman you've ever met, apologize, blaming her will just drag the situation out even longer.
4. MAKE A DECISION
Decide if you want to continue the relatioship with your wife. Don't be hasty it could result in a financial disaster. Your wife obviously wants to continue, she would of left ny now if she didn't. Use this to your advantage to figure out the right decision, be it financial or emotional and/or both. If you do decide to stay with your wife the fact she knows you've been cheating might encourage her to up her game by improving her ways, but this won't include letting you forget that you cheated on her, at least not for the short term.
5. BE VAUGUE ON SPECIFICS
Never share any specific details with your wife about the relationship you had with your girlfriend, no matter how much probing, it will only antagonize matters. Women can be quite cunning and if she senses you're missing your girlfriend, she'll know you're vulnerable, it's important not to let your guard down, you'll be on an even shorter lease if you do, more so now than ever before.
The relationship you had with your girlfriend was casual remember, any akward questions from your wife, the best response is " I hardly knew the girl" make it short and to stick to it.
6. KEEP YOUR PROMISES
If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Be dependable and don't break any commitments, like dinner parties with friends etc. This way she'll start thinking she can trust you again and in turn you'll be able to get back to what you'd rather be doing alot quicker. It's also important to maintain an impression that your girlfriend was someone you hardly knew at all times.
7. BE OPEN
Let her know where you are, who you're with, and so on. Do not be secretive or evasive, this will be beneficial in building back the further trust required to get off the short leash she has you on which is the goal here.
8. LISTEN & COMMUNICATE
This is quite straight forward enough, you may need to bite your tounge at times as well as maintain an impression you hardly knew your girlfriend, you also have to appear to be listening, you've heard the expression 'in one ear out the other' the point is not to engage with any kind of hostility.
9. GIVE HER SOME SPACE
Take a "timeout" if emotions are running high especially if she's become emotionally off the wall. That doesn't mean taking off for an extended period of time with your girlfrind, not just yet anyway, it just means that things need to cool down before you can be around each other again or talk about difficult topics.
10. SPEND TIME WITH HER
Along with letting your partner have some alone time, you need to have together time too. Plan some date nights, dinner with her friends etc. and if you feel she's ready, consider taking a short getaway together, if she agrees this will consoladate the trust required to get back the control in your relationship and off that leash. If you've managed to get to this point and you're getting along, you've been forgiven and your relationship is pretty much fixed.
What's more, upon return of your short getaway you should be able to (with caution) see your girlfriend again assuming she was aware you were married in the first place, if she's Thai don't worry she'll still be around especially if she actually likes you financially support her.
MENZZOO FINAL THOUGHTS
Don't feel bad about having an affair, many men do for a number of reasons and don't feel bad about getting caught.
Women can be quite cunning when it comes to detecting whether her husband has been cheating or not. It could be a till receipt for a pack of condoms in your wallet she found, a bank statement showing a transaction at a hotel, going through private meassages on your phone or laptop, her friends ratting on you or even spotting you with a girl at a bar or restaurant.
There are of course precautions one can take, which is a topic we'll cover in another article.
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